clues at the scene

clues at the scene

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Because, Exploding Kittens!

Kittens napping from the photo on wikicommons taken by Stephan Brunet Macphreak. Thanks for the use. Lovely cute snap.

This is not a commercially monetized use.

Also, the Ivy Mike explosion mushroom cloud. An oldie but a goodie.

Today is a special day in my world. I've found an audience.

I'm not talking about the cat food sandwich eating English majors down at the Olde Town whose bitter and jaded outlook makes them perfect for a Noir at the Bar outing, either.

I'm talking about the folks who donated eight-and-a-half million dollars to The Oatmeal and pals in a Kickstarter campaign for a card game called "Exploding Kittens."

That's 213,000 backers by the way. The project still has an hour to go on Kickstarter as I write this and is 10,000% funded.

The game? Yep. It's about drawing cards until you get an exploding kitten. Then, you're out of the game. Dead.

I know. Aunt Marge would not approve.

However, I and my ilk would. My sense of the macabre makes this perfect.

Doubt me? Here's the link to the Kickstarter page. Exploding Kittens.

Now, I'm all for these guys. I love the humor.

I haven't purchased/contributed because I don't need to. My entire life is filled with exploding kittens which result in an MDK. (that's murder, death, kill for those missing the Sandra Bullock vehicle in the theatre.) I'm a crisis guy. Pays well.

Let's me be a professional miracle worker without being deaf or blind. Did I say that? Sorry. Literary reference. Here's the book. Buy it. We'll both feed less - oh - bad. Book.

I love despots. I think feeding your political opponents to fountain populated with crocodiles at your inauguration is hilarious. I think throwing your old friend and closest political ally into the same fountain instead is brilliant.

Never trust a suck up.

Gasp. Horror.

I think a limited nuclear exchange isn't just inevitable - it's desirable.

Light 'em off.

I got a list of good candidates right here! Let's start with Short Round. How about we just nuke his tin-horn ass back to the stone age. 

Of course, that's about what his family has done all on their own to crazy-land but if you can't have fun exploiting your own citizenry, who can you exploit? (Pick a Central American state for fun. I dare you. Oh, is my United Fruit showing? Bob Dole fans wore pineapple hats at the conventions - see the origins of Dole Food company, will ya?)

That's right. Dark stuff.

Ohhh. I hear you. Vicious nasty little bugger me.

You went to Book of Mormon. Did you laugh when General Butt Fucking Naked made his entrance on the stage an introduced himself? How about the bit when the populace related in all seriousness that AIDS can be cured by raping babies?

Oh, laughter. Funny stuff.


I put you in a room with an Interim President for Life and ask you to make nice as you try and convince him to intervene in an internal conflict of his neighboring state where genocidal tribal warfare is in full swing. Oh, the side that is losing? That's a tribe his grandfather hated, his father hated, and he probably hates.

How many C-131 Hercules you gonna give this guy to help you out? Maybe some Blackhawks? Oh, Stinger missiles. That's a good deal right there, I tell you.  Too bad we got that whole air transport problem with commercial airliners.

Course, smart people fly in small private aircraft now. Give 'em away.

You cannot make this shit up. It is crazy in our world and it is crazy funny.

You play a card game about exploding kittens, you're my kind of reader.

I got some gangster-in-a-dumpster stories you gonna love. After all, a card game of exploding kittens pre-sold - yea - pre-sold $8.5 Million to the tune of 213,000 units.

How'd your last book do?

Wait 'till they get a load of me.

I love these guys. Made my whole day. How was yours?

No comments: