clues at the scene

clues at the scene

Wednesday, June 9, 2021

The Falsehoods of Common Household Appliances

 

It lies.

It is filled with falsehoods instead of dishes.

I ask it "are you clean?" and it will respond "sure" in an absent tone as if it can't be bothered to look away from ESPN. Its German accent is grating at these times.

I start putting the dishes away and - surprise - some egg from breakfast.

"Did you do this?" 

"Do what?"

I hold up the plate.

"This, right here." I'm pointing madly with emphasis.  "You said you were clean."

Then, laughter. It's a horrible sound: the laughter of an appliance.

 

Wanted: Dishwasher. Must not be pathological liar.


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